Otherwise entitled Theo Gamer II: Out of control!
We've managed to impose a 'system' on his gaming life at this point. He earns 'good' checkmarks and 'bad' checkmarks throughout the day...if he has more good than bad, he gets a half hour of video game time. if he does something extra special that we ask him to do (like read a book aloud for 30 minutes, or fold some socks) he can earn a 15 minute increment on that. This seems to be working sort of...he definitely wants to earn the good, and he gets upset when he earns a bad one. And we have a timer going when he uses up his playtime.
The new problem though is that he absolutely hates stopping, and is completely ungraceful about it. Last night he pitched a fit unlike one I'd seen in quite some time. I ended up picking him up and cradling him on the couch while he worked it out. At first he was punching and kicking to get away from me, but I just held onto him and spoke mellowly to him (imagine that!!). After a few minutes he subsided and we talked it out.
Internally I was completely aghast. My first thought was to remove all computers and video games from the house. But 1) that's a knee jerk reaction and wouldn't actually address the REAL issue, and 2) I'd have to move out with my computers and video games, leaving Emily in the parenting-lurch.
So I resolved that if I can help him through those moments when he simply can't have something he really wants, then eventually he'll learn to cope with it. I just have to remember to be cool and calm about it (not one of my stronger skills).
At any rate, the saga continues! Did Emily tell everyone about our Washing machine experience?
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Jeremy:
We used something called Buddy Bucks to curb Max's video game addiction. Basically, you make mini-dollars with Theo's face on them and Riley bucks too.
They get rewarded with the bucks when they do good things (sometimes its as simple as if you can spend the next 10 minutes in the car without arguing/fighting with each other you get 3 buddy bucks each).
Buddy bucks can be used to 'purchase' stuff (like computer time, TV time, a movie out, sleepovers, etc.) If your out of buddy bucks you can't do X.
You can also be fined buddy bucks, e.g. earn the privelege back, for bad behavior like Theo's fits. We once fined Max 50 buddy bucks (about 3 weeks of regular being good) for an outburst. He made it all back in 9 days.
Buddy bucks are a tried and true behavior management system which also has the added benefit of teaching them about saving.
We used it for years and have had many friends who have as well. It works very well.
The key is clearing listing how much things cost and how many bucks can be earned by different things. Don't make it too easy to make bucks (like picking up socks) or, like Dilbert, you'll see more socks on the floor than you ever have before.
Good Luck
Texas Mike
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