Circumlocution

Geeks galore!

2010-07-27T10:21:00.002-05:00

So ComicCon was awesome. We had a great time. My parents kept Riley and Theo so Emily and I were alone and able to relax and have a good time.

Since the last time I was at ComicCon--roughly 18 years ago--the convention center in San Diego has doubled in size. So it was just as packed this time as it was last time but with tons more to see and do. Also there was a higher percentage of females this time. If I had to guess I would say that back in the early 90s when I was there last, maybe 5-10% of the crowd was female, not counting the booth babes. This time I would estimate 35-40% of the crowd was female, and there were actually fewer booth babes. I believe Emily will be posting pictures soon and you can see what I mean.

We managed to go to four or five panels over the course of the convention. Two were fluff--one about vampire fiction and the other about 'urban fantasy' & 'paranormal romance'. The first one featured Charlaine Harris and a bunch of other female authors. The second was a bust--poorly moderated and the panelists were lame. We also went to one on science fiction and the future which included Samuel Delany, Alan Dean Foster, David Weber and a few others. That one was really cool. The first one we went to was called "Twisting Genres" and was about combining genres to end up with something more or less new. The highlight of that one was China Mieville. That guy is scary smart and very entertaining. If you haven't read any of his work, I suggest you do so.

We also spent a lot of time cruising around the exhibit hall--the convention floor where all the booths were. It was so different than the last time I was there--there were still TONS of comics related stuff, but there were also large booths for various TV, movie and web type stuff, including Warner Brothers, Fox, G4, Spike, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, CBS, Lionsgate. Also there were a bunch of video game booths including Nintendo, XBox, Square Enix, Bungi and a bunch of others. Finally there were actually toy manufacturers: Hasbro, Lego and a few others that I saw.

Emily and I spent a LOT of time in the small press and artists aisles discovering artists and books we'd not heard of or seen before. Here are a few links, in case you're interested in exploring:

Gris Grimly: http://www.madcreator.com/

Ragnar: http://www.vegalleries.com/RagnarMain.html

Jerrell Conner: http://jerrellconner.com/indexold.html

Andrew Wilson: http://processjunkie.blogspot.com/2007/08/forgotten-kingdom-of-imaginary-friends.html

Josh Howard: http://joshhoward.typepad.com/

Bob Boyle: http://bobboyle.blogspot.com/

Joenis Norac: http://artisticdoom.com/

Wade Schin: http://www.brandstudiopress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=114

There were many more, including one called Zombie Tramp (extra amusing and well drawn), but it would take too long to mention them all.

And finally we managed to sit in line for 2:15 and didn't make it into ballroom 20 for 3 different events that were occurring one after another. If we'd waited another hour or so we could have missed the True Blood presentation, but we decided it was far more important to elbow our way through the insane crowds on the convention floor.

Oh, and here's the hotel we stayed at: http://www.resortkonakai.com/

It was great :)

Reader

2010-04-20T07:26:00.006-05:00

So I'm considering finding a third person to read my manuscripts and provide feedback. I already have my Mom and Emily reading them once and giving me great feedback, but I think a third reader would be a good thing. Why?

Well, first of all, it's a pain in the ass to read a manuscript multiple times as a favor to a friend, so I don't ask. I have this suspicion that both Mom and Emily would agree enthusiastically while in their heads thinking "Oh God, not again, please, no."

Secondly it would be great to get a completely new perspective from a different source.

What am I looking for in a reader? I'm hoping to find someone with the following qualities or training:

1. enjoys reading fantasy, urban fantasy and science fiction, and has some experience with those genres

2. has taken some sort of exposure to this sort of 'work' before--whether it be from taking a creative writing workshop, working in the industry or being a writer him or herself.

3. has the ability to view a story as a whole and to see the details as well, and is willing to provide suggestions for addressing perceived weaknesses.

4. has the ability to keep the turnaround to a month or less, or even slightly more than that, but preferably not too much more.

5. And I want a pony.

What output am I looking for?

1. a rational evaluation of the major parts of a good story: characterization, plot, mood and tone, and the prose itself. Gud speeling or grammer not is needed.

2. The ability to be constructively critical. While it's always cool to know what's working, identifying what isn't working is really just as helpful. I know sometimes it's hard to level criticism at someone. The constructive part suggesting I don't really need "The whole thing just sucks, don't quit your day job", or "Your name really ruins the whole novel. maybe call yourself Jet Stevens instead?"

I actually know that some of my friends meet these criteria, with the possible exception of the pony part. But I am leery of asking right up front for fear that the following renumeration/barter offers would just be plain insulting to them. The first step in my search is to find out if what I'm looking for is even remotely reasonable.

Renumeration could include any of the following:

1. An exchange of services if desired. I enjoy reading for other people and will gladly return the favor.

2. A mention in the acknowledgements of anything that he or she reads that I manage to get published.

3. Some minor payment if neither of the above satisfy them. This would be very minimal, which probably excludes anyone who is in this industry professionally already :) But I can't really afford to throw much cash at this problem. It turns out there are some fairly restrictive child labor laws in Illinois so McDonalds had to lay off Theo. I can't understand it--he was only putting in a ten hour work day and was learning some valuable life lessons. Like don't go into the walk in freezer without blocking open the door, don't put your face on the grill and don't call customers "poopie-head".

Finally, another thing that would be awesome to know is, does this sound remotely reasonable to even pursue? Am I looking for someone that simply doesn't exist in this time-space continuum?

Anyway, I'm imagining that all of this will narrow the field to my Mom and Emily, but I figured it was worth a shot. I'm going to go wait for the Child Protective Services goobs to show up.

The New Improved Wheel of Time?

2010-04-07T05:48:00.003-05:00

So I have been rereading the entire series--I bought the latest book and after about ten pages realized I'd lost too much context to continue. I've really enjoyed the books, more than I ever have before. I think it's because I've thrown myself into my own writing with such abandon. I have found myself analyzing Jordan's prose, the mechanics of the stories and the characters and how he built them. He had a lot of interesting tools at his disposal that he used to build a sense of individual voice for each character, and over eleven books he'd managed to create such a huge, diverse cast of players that I find myself impressed. Deeply impressed.

Granted, at times his handling of some of the characters becomes clunky or even forced--Nynaeve in particular is not a fun character to follow. But the way he built Mat's voice is one of my favorite parts of these books--I have learned a lot in this most recent read by simply paying attention to the mechanics of how that characterization is carried off.

Now that I've finally arrived at the latest book, which Brandon Sanderson actually authored using Jordan's copious notes and plans, I was prepared to dislike and mourn the shift in writing styles. But I'm enjoying this one just as much as the previous books. In some ways much more. Sanderson is a talented writer--he uses many of the same tools and mechanics that Jordan lived by, but he applies a finer sense of economy to his prose, while at the same time is able to imbue the same lushness of the story. Jordan chose well who his successor would be. I still find myself sad at his death but I am pleased where Sanderson is taking the story.

Of course, I'm still waiting to see if Nynaeve tugs her damned braid.

Theo's ink woes

2010-01-29T10:01:00.003-06:00

So last night Theo put this really large, pretty cool looking tattoo on his neck. Before anyone things this is another of my bad dad posts, it's a "temporary" tattoo. The quotes are there because they seem to hang around for over a months :P

Anyway, it is shaped sort of like the wings pins that you used to get from American Airlines when you were a kid flying. He's got the center of it over his adam's apple, and the wings extending around to be underneath his ears. I wish I'd gotten a picture this morning. He was quite proud of it and strutted around all evening.

This morning he woke up and decided he was too embarrassed to go to school with it on. So he asked me to take it off. I have no idea how to do that, and tried to soak it off with warm water to no avail. It was a classic moment of failing to see the consequences of an action, and learning later that he has to think things through. I imagine it won't make any difference though :P

And then there's Riley--she put about 20 tattoos on herself a few months back and had no embarrassment wearing them no matter where we went.

And then there's me--all my tattoos under my t-shirt on my back and I regret not being able to show them to people without coming off as some kind of nutjob. "Wanna see my back???"

Bad Dad!

2010-01-27T08:16:00.003-06:00

So this morning I did something with Theo that might not be good parenting. But you know what? I just don't care.

While we were waiting in the car for the bus to arrive--5 degrees out there--he told me that he doesn't like to ride the bus because there's a girl who calls him 'fishbreath' everyday and she's mean to him.

So my first response was the correct parenting response--just ignore her. He said that he does ignore her, but she still does it and it hurts his feelings. So I told him that he shouldn't let what she says hurt his feelings because she's clearly not a nice person and her opinion shouldn't matter at all. He didn't seem reassured by that, and after a moment of considering that advice I realized it was unrealistic. I always had a hard time reacting rationally to that kind of shit, too.

So I ventured out into bad-dad land and told him if, and only if, she called him 'fishbreath' he should look at her, smile in the most friendly way, and say 'Hello, Elephant Ears'. He giggled for a while and seemed excited about getting on the bus, and that made me feel much better.

Until I got home and realized I'd just told him to call names and pick on someone's physical appearance. I felt guilty for a moment. But only a moment. After that moment I wished I could b e a fly on the wall to see how it went, and if it wasn't successful, provide him with another tactic to get the little rugrat off his back.

I wish my Dad would have taught me the art of war when I was a kid :D

Prima Dumbass

2009-12-01T07:15:00.002-06:00

I don't know how it is in your industry, but in mine, prima donnas are as prevalent as blades of grass in a lawn. This is interesting because one of the primary traits of the prima donna is this sense that they are the best and infalliable while those around them are idiots and a waste of space. At least that's the case with software prima donnas. However, if you do the math, n-1 of them are full of it. There can be only one. Haven't I used that quote before?

So anyway, for some reason, I end up being stuck working with these people more often than not and currently I've got a new one I'm partnered with for a project. I make mistakes. I'm not perfect (I realize this is a shocking admission) and I'm always learning new things. The constant acquisition of new information and skills is one of the things I've always loved about what I do for a living.

In general I readily admit these things to anyone and everyone who asks. I get excited about what I'm doing, and am more than willing to argue a point, but I also am ready to see the other side and admit when I've made a mistake. Evidently this is a very rare thing in my industry.

I really don't know what to do with these people though. They are condescending and rude at the very least and at the worst they attempt to actually undermine other people. This guy I'm dealing with is the latter sort.

What's the point of all this? Just getting it off my chest in a forum that I control, rather than exploding in anger and raging at him. He's not even really as great as he thinks he is, so if it came to that, putting him in his place would be rather easy.

But I guess I have to ask myself a hard question: maybe there's something...insufficient about me. Maybe it's me who has the issue, not these people. I mean, there are plenty of people that I DO work well with...usually they are polite, interested in doing what's best and discussing things rationally.

Eh, it's his fault. It's not my fault he's a moron and I'm perfect in every way. I shouldn't have to account for his shortcomings.

Drama! Stress!

2009-11-24T09:23:00.002-06:00

So I've had my manuscript out in the hands of an agent the last two and a half months. Or so I thought. I finally decided it was time to see if she'd taken a look at it yet--just a gentle reminder/inquiry, etc. I agonized over the five sentence email, trying to combine just the right tone of respect, enthusiasm, and interest in knowing more. I also wanted to be careful not to sound aggressive or hostile. This is the kind of thing I get super neurotic about. I want this to work so much--probably too much.

Anyway, I sent the email and got back a response about an hour later saying that she didn't recognize the title of my manuscript and asked if I mailed it or emailed it. This was my second worst scenario. The first being rejection, of course. So we exchanged emails for a little while and I provided her with the name of the person who signed for it in her office, and a copy of the original email asking me for the manuscript so that she wouldn't think I was trying to scam my way in the backdoor.

She responded and asked me to attach the manuscript to an email, so I did and now it's actually in her hands. I can't decide if she's going to be positively motivated toward the manuscript out of some sense that her office lost it and was at fault, or if she's going to be annoyed at me for being such a pushy (albeit, polite and respectful) asshat.

The bottom line is that after almost three months of a strange mixture of excitement, desperation and terror, I didn't even have anything to worry about. NOW I do though, so I'm ramping up those emotions again at a frightening rate.

Yeesh.

Cry more, noob.

2009-11-18T09:33:00.003-06:00

I apologize to anyone who reads this who is not a video game fan. I promise this doesn't signify a vast change in my content here.

Why is it that every single MMORPG since EQ is fundamentally the same? It's around 10 years after EQ and we're still dealing with the same basic issues. Sure, the sugar coating has gotten better: neato question mark graphics above the quest giving npc's head, a mail system, 'mounted' travel.

I'm playing Aion lately in a casual way and this game has all the new eye candy and convenient additions, plus some new ones that are cool. But when you peel all that stuff away it's really no different than anything that came before it. Here's a quick list.

a. static and insufficient quests. this results in boring leveling after the first toon. And grinding. crap loads of grinding.

b. endgame content designed to feed the obsessive and well connect players, and completely ignores the casual player.

c. a crafting system that is designed to be a time and money sink and results in items that are mediocre in most cases

d. combat systems that are basically unchanged from the first mmorpgs: chains, cooldown timers, etc

e. level based advancement. I know that at least one recent game has tried to get back to the skill advancement system that UO sported in the old days, but other than that we're still madly rushing to max-level and uber-gear so we can be even remotely competitive. This is especially painful for those of us that are gradually losing synaptic speed.

I can go on and on. Admittedly, graphics have gotten better, UIs have gotten more user friendly and configurable, and otherwise the games have improved in many ways, but fundamentally the underlying structure of the games are the same.

Freaking out!

2009-11-02T12:26:00.003-06:00

Today I have decided, is the day that I write an email to the agent who is reading my manuscript and see where they are at. I have no real idea how long this part of the process should take, but it's been around 8 weeks or so, and I've begun to wonder if I just dreamed the whole thing.

My first draft was obsequious. Here's an approximation:

Dear So and so,

Please forgive me for intruding upon your day. I hope you are having a wonderful week. I wanted to make sure that my manuscript arrived in good shape. FedEx claimed it did but we all know what liarheads they can be. If you did get it, that's great and I hope you're enjoying it. I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience. If you want. I don't mean to sound pushy.

thanks,

jeremy

Emily told me that obsequious wasn't a good thing. So my next attempt was a bit more assertive:

Dear So and so,

WHERE THE #!&^ IS MY RESPONSE. I SENT THAT THING TO YOU MONTHS AGO.

looking forward to hearing back from you. Have a nice day!

jeremy

This is about where Emily smacked me on the back of the head. I finally settled on businesslike and calmly assertive without being rude or pushy. Along the lines of:

Dear So and so,

I'm writing to inquire as to the status of my manuscript, which you requested I send to you a while ago. I'm new to this entire process so I don't know what to expect in terms of a response or if I need to do anything further.

Please let me know,

thanks,

jeremy

I sent it and now I'm shaking and checking email every ten minutes or so. Do you think I might want this too much?

The coming Zombie apocalypse, with a little luck!

2009-10-29T06:06:00.004-05:00

So I woke up this morning with an old broken bone aching rather sharply. It was almost like I'd slept on it funny or something. But I know better. It was that body trying to give me an important message about some upcoming event of Great Importance. A harbinger of sorts. So I decided to enumerate the possible events it was warning me about.

1. Rain. If this is the case then my old broken bone needs to go back to night school. Get its MBA or SOMETHING. It's rained six out of the last ten days here, and not a single peep out of the old injury. Suddenly it freaks out. I'm seriously doubting this is the message it is sending.

2. The Coming Apocalypse. I've never bought into this concept at all. It's just too well planned out. It's like a huge paranoid delusion that has no loose edges. Everything fits, and far too well. This is NOT how reality behaves. There is too much randomness in our day to day lives for something as stepwise ordered as the predicted apocalypse. Unless we're talking about...

3. The Coming Zombie Apocalypse. Anything that features zombies, high caliber weaponry and the possibility, however remote, of an appearance by Mila Jovovich or Kate Beckinsale...well, COUNT ME IN!

4. a Dire Warning that if I insist on having dreams that feature Mila Jovovich or Kate Beckinsale (or both???!!!) I should NOT say their names aloud. I'm really, really sorry, Emily. /grovels

I don't know about you, but I'm going down into the basement to clean my high caliber weaponry. After I take a shower, shave, put on my coolest clothes and that after shave I never use. Yes, I do own some cool clothes. I got them at Kohl's.

ZOMBIES!

Odds n ends

2009-10-27T13:04:00.003-05:00

So I want everyone to breath a deep sigh of relief: I have successfully avoided a post concerning religion. I was considering it and then said to myself "WTF? RU RETARDED???!!! IDK WUT UR THINKING!!!11!!!ONE!"

So instead I'm going to just toss out a few odds and ends for your consideration:

I find myself annoyed by musicians who use their music as a forum for 'sharing' their political opinions. Yes, even when I am in agreement with them. Rationally I understand that they, like many people, want to share their opinions and thoughts with others. And I understand that their music is a natural method that they can use to communicate with us, the masses. So why do I still find it so hard to deal with. The band that flipped this switch for me is Filter. I've been listening to their last album and the entire thing is a huge political diatribe against the war in Iraq. Fundamentally I'm against the war too, and if the Filter guy and I were to sit down and share ideas we might be close to agreeing. That said, I really don't want to have that crap interfering with my enjoyment of the music. Discuss.

Anyway, that's number one.

Over the last 8 months or so, I've been averaging a few thousand words written each day. There have been periods where I am in between projects and doing editing or preparing query letters, etc, so the numbers aren't there. But there have also been days where I crank out in the 10k range. I feel really good about the whole thing: even if I never get published, I'll eventually die knowing that I pursued this dream hard core. I'm currently plowing into my third novel of the year. The second one is a rough draft, currently being read by my mother (God love her) and my first is being read and considered by an agent. If I fail, it won't be for lack of trying.

Finally, I find myself a Cub Scout Dad. How the HELL did this happen to me? Where did I go wrong? What crime did I commit that Karma has revisited this back on me?? In the last month, I've sold cub scout popcorn outside Jewel (grocery store), worked the concession stand at Bingo Night at the Moose Lodge (we get the proceeds from that for our yearly cubscout purse) and took Theo to a huge reenactment of pioneer days in America called The Trail of History (I wanted to rename it something more apt like The Day Where Grown Men Sit Around All Day Firing Off A Cannon).

I can't decide what was stranger: the bingo night, or the frontier days knockoff. They were both mega-freaky. Bingo night was EXACTLY like the stereotypes! I always thought that it was greatly exaggerated. For those who read this that actually go to bingo night somewhere, forgive me. I LOVE BINGO!! whew.

And the Trail of History. That was completely nutso. It was like Ren Faire for American settlers time. Everyone in costume, displays, things being sold and made. There were Red Coats and Minutemen walking all over the place. There was some guy who had set up his frontier days blacksmithy. There was a dentist from that time period (read: torture specialist). All kinds of other things like that.

Oh, and I go to a weekly pack or den meeting. Theo seems to love it, so I'll take the shot to my ever fading sense of coolness (which was tiny and pathetic to begin with...) on his behalf. The things we do for parenthood.

Anyone wanna buy some caramel popcorn? stop it me. now.

Glorified version of a pellet gun

2009-10-22T13:00:00.003-05:00

So how the heck did Pearl Jam fall so far off my radar? I think it's because I go so freaking tired of Seattle grunge. But in my haste to distance myself from that entire musical movement, I did Pearl Jam a grave injustice. They're so much more than grunge.

I really love a band that grows over time. Nothing worse than a band releasing the same record over and over again with a thin veneer over it to fool you into thinking it's different. I've got a few Pearl Jam albums and each one has a completely different set of sounds and feels to it. After however many years it's been they still sound fresh and vital.

I saw them back in the mid 90s. They were part of a 3 band bill with Nirvana and the Red Hot Chillipeppers. Speaking of which, the Peppers sucked, and Nirvana was incomprehensible. But Eddie Vedder and the rest of the band kicked serious ass. Whereas the other two bands seemed to slouch through their sets, Pearl Jam was an explosion of energy. At one point Vedder scaled the thirty or forty foot tall lights scaffold and was hanging off upside down with his legs through the bars, singing. I think it was during Alive.

Oh, and I have to say that it helps that Vedder sings in a range that I can actually hit--so I can sing all the songs in the shower or the car and hit all the notes. How cool is that?

I'm pretty sure I'm about to freak out and buy all the albums I don't already have :)

Skin art

2009-10-20T12:35:00.003-05:00

For the last few months I've been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo. I fluctuate between wanting a crow, a NiN tattoo or a bar code that actually translates to 'stop looking at me' or something like that. I'm actually getting close to going out and doing it. Unfortunately my kids beat me to the punch.

Recently they got little books that had 1001 tattoos or some other freakishly huge amount. We made the mistake this weekend of leaving them with the books unattended for a while. In theory they were watching TV. We don't let them do that very often, and when we do it's a chance to go hide from the monsters. Well, when we saw them next Riley was covered head to toe with very artistic, multicolored skin art. Theo has a bunch of single color black tribal tattoos on his chest and arms. He even has one of those armband ones on his bicep.

She looks like the Tattoo'd Lady at the fair/circus and he looks like a punk rocker, largely because he's as scrawny as I was at his age. Luckily we caught Riley before she managed to get them on her face--but that was clearly on her list of things to do.

I'm hoping that they don't decided to go for piercings...at least not until I've gotten mine...

musical revival

2009-10-14T07:13:00.003-05:00

So until recently it's been over ten years since I touched my guitar with any kind of serious intent to play it. I've tried a few times over the years to get myself back into it, but it hasn't ever stuck.

I reached this point because shortly after "retiring" from the band I was in, and a few days before starting my first job in software development (an internship at the University of Arizona), I broke a finger on each hand. Imagine the sheer nerve of me showing up for my first paying job with each hand sporting a splint. My boss just stared at me for a few moments. I hunted and pecked for a few weeks.

Anyway, my guitar playing was put on hold during that time, and then the sheer pace of life kept me from returning to it.

A little over a month ago, on a whim I purchased Cakewalk's Music Creator. It's a software virtual musical studio. It's lightweight, easy to use and comes packed with virtual instruments ranging from the parts of an orchestra to a bunch of synthesizers. Since then I've been writing a song a night; I use the term 'song' a bit loosely. In some cases it's a complete song, and in other cases it's just a section of a song. As a side effect of this I pick my guitar up several times a day and it's been great fun.

I'm currently saving up for a usb audio interface so I can plug my guitar directly into the computer and record tracks with the software. And then I'd like to get a Gibson SG and a fender tube amp. And a wah pedal. Maybe a vocoder rig. And then I want to teach myself drums: it's been a blast creating drum lines on this software. Some of the lines I've written probably aren't actually possible for one drummer to play w/o grafting a third arm onto their torso. Good luck w/that.

Somewhere in this house, Emily is cringing. So I'll assure her that the only part I'm serious about is the audio interface. And the SG. And..and..

What the hell is this?

2009-10-13T07:33:00.003-05:00

I forgot I had a blog!

Anyway, during the last year or so I've been working to change my career. I love being involved with designing and writing software, but I really don't enjoy doing it for other people, and having to do so has slowly but surely strangled my love of all things softwarish. So I decided to pursue a dream I've always had: to be a novelist, writing things I'd enjoy reading as opposed to things that can be considered 'literary fiction'.

For most of my life I considered creative writing to be an innate skill: either you have it or you don't. This has recently changed. I realized (and then felt quite foolish for not realizing it right up front) that writing is a craft that must be improved through practice. It's like playing the guitar: all the best guitarists spend a large part of their time practicing their craft. I read somewhere that Eric Clapton spent 5+ years basically locked in his house playing this guitar from morning to night with the obvious breaks during the day.

I guess that I still believe that an active imagination is still something that you have or don't have. I've always had that in spades. Most of the times I really value it and love it, and sometimes it's gotten me in trouble. I can't think of how many times I got myself in trouble in school by daydreaming. One such event was when I was in middle school and evidently the teacher had changed subjects to discussing Haiku. After a short silence when the students were paying attention, I was off in some dream world rescuing the damsel in distress and in general making a nuisance of myself to eViL everywhere. Suddenly the teacher asked me to share my feelings on baseball. I guess that was the topic we were supposed to be writing a quick Haiku about. So being completely out of touch with what was going on, I nervously started expounding on why I liked baseball. The entire class laughed and I still carry emotional baggage from that moment where my imagination got me in trouble. Let it go, Jeremy, let it go!

But other than the imagination, the technical aspects of writing, including learning to allow characters to drive the action, the ability to create and maintain a solid plot, and being able to allow what a character says and does give insight into who they are rather than freak out on adjectives and TELL the reader those things. Those are just a few of the things that I focus on every time I write, and over time I've gotten better at those things. Where I had to put a lot of conscious thought into doing the right thing, it's become more second nature. As my craft improves I find myself becoming more prolific. I'm sure that means I'm turning out a lot of complete shit, but the sheer enjoyment I find myself taking in telling a story is one of the things that makes me the happiest in life (kids & wife being others).

It's funny how writing used to be hard work: I always thought of it as the painful process of producing something that people will want to read. A story they'll find engrossing. But now, while it's still hard work and must be committed to entirely, it's not painful at all. It's joyous.

Anyway, I'm sure most, if not all of you, are sitting there saying 'Duh, Jeremy.' And if so, that's fine--it's well deserved. But this realization has dramatically improvement my relationship with my writing. Don't get me wrong--it's still immature and often I miss what I'm aiming for, but I'm taking a lot more joy in it these days and the dream feels much more attainable as a result.

Best buddies!

2008-03-04T09:21:00.003-06:00

So Theo and I have been spending a lot of time together. His favorite activity currently (as the last time I posted) is watching me play World of Warcraft. If he's been good, I 'allow' him to watch me play. As you can imagine its really terrible to have to play a video game like this. I'd much rather do chores, or stay 'at' work longer or even just go to the dentist for a root canal.

Interestingly enough, this has allowed us to bond in a way I wasn't expecting. Last night he told Emily that he and I were 'best buddies'. This, of course, is the easiest way to make me deliriously happy and extremely suggestable. Hopefully he won't ever figure out the last part.

Worthy quotes from work

2008-01-28T09:04:00.000-06:00

Here's a few things I've seen recently via email at work.

1.) A coworker's car wouldn't start and he was looking for jumper cables in the evening. He started with "Anyone got a pair?". It turns out that only myself and a few others were still online, and everyone but me was from either Russia or Hungary originally. None of them picked up the rather unsubtle reference.

2.) I told my boss (not meaning to--it just slipped out) that I was experiencing a little burn out recently, and he said "Let's get together over dinner and discuss your bo..." I don't know if he intended to be funny or not.

3.) Again with the ex-east bloc developers. The one from Russia--a wonderful person to work with and hang out with--sent an email out that said "Does anyone have a knife I can use to cut the cheese?". My pal Morry immediately responded to everyone saying "You need a knife for that? Sounds painful!"

There are many more, but these are the recent highlights...

The ongoing video game saga!

2008-01-10T10:30:00.001-06:00

Otherwise entitled Theo Gamer II: Out of control!

We've managed to impose a 'system' on his gaming life at this point. He earns 'good' checkmarks and 'bad' checkmarks throughout the day...if he has more good than bad, he gets a half hour of video game time. if he does something extra special that we ask him to do (like read a book aloud for 30 minutes, or fold some socks) he can earn a 15 minute increment on that. This seems to be working sort of...he definitely wants to earn the good, and he gets upset when he earns a bad one. And we have a timer going when he uses up his playtime.

The new problem though is that he absolutely hates stopping, and is completely ungraceful about it. Last night he pitched a fit unlike one I'd seen in quite some time. I ended up picking him up and cradling him on the couch while he worked it out. At first he was punching and kicking to get away from me, but I just held onto him and spoke mellowly to him (imagine that!!). After a few minutes he subsided and we talked it out.

Internally I was completely aghast. My first thought was to remove all computers and video games from the house. But 1) that's a knee jerk reaction and wouldn't actually address the REAL issue, and 2) I'd have to move out with my computers and video games, leaving Emily in the parenting-lurch.

So I resolved that if I can help him through those moments when he simply can't have something he really wants, then eventually he'll learn to cope with it. I just have to remember to be cool and calm about it (not one of my stronger skills).

At any rate, the saga continues! Did Emily tell everyone about our Washing machine experience?

Posthumously posted

2008-01-10T10:27:00.001-06:00

Not me...this:

http://www.andrewolmsted.com/

Its fairly intense. Now, personally I find some of the many quotes of Babylon 5 slightly cheesey, but that in and of itself seems to give the post a certain sense of reality. If it was really contrived for the sake of contriving it, it would have had much more pseudo-intellectual quotes and such. I also really loved the minimization of the political aspects of his death. It felt personal and all in all, I felt kind of sad that he wasn't someone I'd met in real life. I'd gladly substitute someone like this for any one (or ten) of the software wrecking ego laden primadonnas I've met in my line of work.

Anyways, read it (its long) and discuss!

Video game junkie??

2008-01-03T13:36:00.000-06:00

My son has discovered the joy of video games. This is not surprising given my own interests in the subject. We obtained a game that he loves to play at school--Hot Wheels Velocity X and he craves playing it 24x7. This is not surprising either. He is very young and hasn't learned to exercise the discipline and will power necessary to avoid falling into the deep hole of video game addition, and all the addictive behavior related (you know, stuffing the dog in the closet, arranging snacks and water and a little bucket for...waste, and then completely ignoring the outside world and the body's need for sleep). Unfortunately, neither have I at the ripe age of 40...so its a fairly bleak outlook. All of this is fairly normal for a youngster his age.

What's not very normal is that while he LOVES to play his video game, the word 'play' has a whole different meaning for him. For the most part what he really wants is to force Dad (that's me) to play the game while he sits nearby watching and bossing me around. "Turn there, Dad!" "Oh, you missed it AGAIN, Dad!" and various frustrated noises fill the room and for a change they aren't coming from me.

We have him on this somewhat complicated system of reinforcement and control whereby he can earn or lose video game time on a daily basis by being good or not. The system has a certain arbitrary aspect to it (its well designed to support the somewhat arbitrary needs of the Parental Units). So at any given time, he's got a fairly limited amount of gametime and he regularly chooses to have ME play ("Unlock the purple car next, Dad!" or "You drive and I'll shoot, Dad!") rather than playing by himself.

What does all this mean?

I'm torn...

2007-12-18T11:25:00.000-06:00

So yesterday Theo got in trouble for writing his name in permanent marker on the freshly painted bathroom walls at his school. In 8 inch lettering. My first reaction was to be really crushed under the weight of parenthood. But after soaking in that for a little while, I managed to step back and think about it more rationally. I mean, he's only 5, right? He was probably really pleased with himself for writing his name so well, in such huge letters, right?

After thinking about it for a while, I find myself torn between the urge to punish him for his egregious misstep and to give him a high five and singing out "Up the establishment! You go, my comrade!". Of course, we ended up having serious discussions about the right and wrong of it, during which he performed the ritual and expected contortions of contrition and understanding until we freed him up to go commit more mischief. I think the most important lesson I've managed to teach this boy is lesson #23 entitled "How to say the right things to a parent." coupled with lesson #54 which is "How to convince Mom and Dad that you completely understand whatever nonsense they're blathering about currently." This last lesson is actually an important corollary to lesson #3 which is "How to get back to doing things you want to do when parents want to talk."

He's really come a long way in the last few years. Soon he'll completely pass me by and will be adept at making me think I'm in charge. Then I'll mellow out, start to get shorter, lose some hair and eventually end up drooling in an old folks home where he'll come to visit me weekly, wipe that drool off my chin and tell me not to scribble THEO on the bathroom walls in 8 inch letters.

No backspace key day!

2007-12-12T11:50:00.000-06:00

I had this cool idea for a new holiday to be celebrated at work across the country: No Backspace Day. The idea is that we all resolve to not use the backspace key in that day's electronic communication. So far this post has had no typos--I'm sure that will change any muniminute. damn.

Anyway, can you imagine the zany hijinks that would ensue? All the completely unreadable email...the emails to people where you start saying something, theink better of it and have to send it athat way anyways? Yowee!

Can I count you in?

He's still there!!

2007-12-12T11:45:00.000-06:00

Last night I had this horrible dream about Theo. I'll leave all the embarrassing and stupid details, but suffice it to say I managed to lose him in a truck stop while driving cross country. The bulk of the dream was my frantic attempts to find him. The dream didn't ever resolve...I never found him. I woke up sweating and gasping and immediately went into his room where he was sleeping still. Thank goodness!

Of course, throughout the dream my sleeping mind managed to insert the obligatory cheerleaders, motorcycle chase and unexpected nakedness-embarassment. Oh. I was going to leave that stuff out, wasn't I?

This morning Riley crawled under Theo's bed out of reach and refused to come out. Little twerp. I took one look at the situation and decided to blindly ignore it. I guess in addition to being a crummy dad, I'm also a fairly lame husband too!

It is what it is!

My kid dropped a dime on me

2007-12-11T09:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I got a note from Theo's kindergarten teacher. She wanted to let me know that Theo had said "Kick ass!" in class today, and when asked where he'd heard it he said gave me up. Ratted me out. My most pressing question was if he had used the term correctly, but I knew that asking that would only get me in deeper trouble.

So Theo and I had a long discussion about how some words were not ok to say. I told him when he got older he'd be able to decide for himself when a good time was to say those words. I then proceeded to itemize all the words and phrases he's not allowed to say. Ok, that's not true.

At first he started trying to convince me that some random kid in his class made him do it, but I wasn't having any. Then he wanted to know if this was a word he was allowed to say in his room with the door closed. I told him I'd prefer he didn't say it at all. This, of course, was unintended carte blanche to say it in his room with the door closed. Evidently 'prefer' means 'yes, go for it, champ!' in Theo's world. So we had the talk again and this time I laid it on heavier (if I EVER catch you saying that word, you'll be grounded for the remainder of your life).

Theo, of course, has no concept of what 'grounded' means. I'm a bad parent.

Up all night

2007-11-21T11:00:00.000-06:00

Theo had a fairly intense relapse in his 'sneak out of his room to do random, yet important things' issue last night. He was out at least 5 times that I noticed, and one time I only noticed him as he was crawling through my desk. It has this cabinet that is specifically made to house a computer so its large, and open in the back. He snuck in RIGHT under my nose, got behind my desk and crawled in there. I have no idea how long he was in there, but suddenly the cabinet door which is at my right knee basically began to push open. I nearly had a coronary, which of course led to some awesome yelling that even impressed Theo, despite his jaded nature. He piled the rest of the way out of the cabinet and ran out of the room. I yelled after him a final "GET BACK IN BED AND STAY THERE" and then settled back into my, er, computing. Moments later, harboring a secret suspicion that he hadn't actually made it back to his bed I looked up and caught him crawling across the floor towards the back of the cabinet. I smothered laughter and chased him back to bed.

This wasn't the last time he came out. The kid is a real pill.